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Dating is always tough to navigate: What do you text back, who pays the check, and why is it so hard to meet normal people? But dating in 2022 brings a whole new set of difficulties: The old rules of dating no longer apply, most exchanges happen over an app, and we forgot how to do our makeup while staying at home since 2020 (nope, just me?). But difficult or not, you deserve a fulfilling life, fun ways to meet new people, and to actually enjoy dating (because no one should have Charlotte’s dating exhaustion).
If you’re too intimidated to approach the kind of woman you think you deserve, while still rejecting all the ones that show interest in you, you’re going to remain single for a long time. Serial dating happens when a guy hasn’t settled down to really understand what he wants in a woman. These types of guys approach almost every girl they see. They use external beauty alone as their metric for evaluating girls. They don’t have standards or virtues they want in a woman. Their focus is simply hoping to get laid. The problem with this approach to dating is that it often ends up frustrating and confusing you. It’s immature, and it’s an unrealistic way of finding a partner. You’ll most likely end up getting more rejections than you can handle.
Kind people are charming. You’ve probably heard the idea that if you want to get a good understanding of someone’s true nature, watch how they treat those who are in a lesser position, like service staff, waiters, etc. Everyone responds well to kindness. We all want someone who has a good heart, who is caring and empathetic. A man who treats others with kindness and respect shows his woman that he isn’t just nice to her because she’s pretty or because he wants something from her. It’s his nature, and she can count on him to be that to her anytime any day. And this assurance will make her feel safe with him. As the saying goes, your looks might capture people’s attention, but it’s your character that will keep them interested. Nothing on this list has to do with looks. Meaning, they are all learnable if you’re not implementing them already.
Avoid giving out your number until after the first date: Experts advise users who communicate on dating apps to avoid changing to direct text with their telephone. This is for safety reasons and because there is a high chance the date won’t materialize. Although it isn’t mannerly, the reality is that ghosting happens, and date plans sometimes aren’t finalized, texts are forgotten, or things turn platonic. So, schedule the first date directly on the dating app platform. Once you’ve met in person, and if you feel comfortable and connected, then consider exchanging numbers and/or social media platforms.
FYI: Being alone is a good thing. A single relationship status or even just time spent on our own allows us to turn inward, explore our truest desires, and get to know ourselves better. When we know ourselves and what we want, our dating lives become more fulfilling, successful, and fun. Any amount of time alone can be invested to understand what we want out of a partner, but more importantly, it can make us feel so whole we don’t need a partner. Let me go on a quick tangent about a few outdated dating rules that we really should ditch, like, yesterday. To start, my least favorites of all dating rules are “Don’t kiss on the first date” and the “Three-date rule.” Let’s just throw out any rules that imply that what you want to do with your body and when you want to do it are not up to you. Make your own rules based on comfortability and what you’re feeling.
Many singles are unknowingly sabotaging their own chances of meeting someone great because they’re mentally hung on someone. It could be an ex they can’t let go of, or someone they only know from a distance but are convinced is their happily ever after. Real, lasting love doesn’t happen in your head. And it can be far too easy to get swept away by a fantasy. But these fantasies can hold you back — for example, if you’re still obsessing over the idea of getting back together with your last partner, you may totally miss out on the amazing person standing right in front of you at a party, work gathering, wedding, or another event.
For example, let’s say you’re looking for someone who’s solid and dependable. Or maybe you want to meet someone who’s patient and calm when things don’t go as planned. Can you say the same about yourself? Sometimes, we are attracted to people to fill our “voids” so to speak — to provide all the things we lack. It’s natural to have some opposing strengths from your partner, but the point is that you should always be working on owning all the qualities that you seek. That way, you aren’t ever fully dependent on someone else to meet your needs, and you can make sure you’re always pulling your own weight in a give-and-take relationship.
The idea that “opposites attract” is a common dating myth. However, there is no such evidence to prove it. Instead, similarity in personality traits and values is a stronger predictor of attraction and relationship success. While differences can bring some excitement to a relationship, it is important to share some common ground to establish a strong foundation. Many people believe that playing hard to get will make them more desirable and increase their chances of being pursued. However, it can actually decrease the perceived level of interest and attractiveness of the person playing the game. It is important to be genuine and communicate clearly to establish a healthy and honest relationship.
Don’t…be in a rush. It takes time for a relationship to develop. Get to know the person and take note of any red flags or signs that the person you’re dating isn’t up for a long-term relationship. If it doesn’t feel right, move on. Remember your self-worth and find something more compatible. Do…take time to think about your absolutes when it comes to relationships. Use this to focus on someone that has qualities you are looking for when dating. Do…love yourself. The first step to finding love is loving yourself. Be confident and appreciate how amazing you are. Do that and it will reflect to others. Believe in yourself, believe in the beauty of love, and believe the right person is out there for you.