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A major green flag you can notice in someone is that they communicate about everything with you. Communication is the key to a healthy and long-lasting relationship. It is necessary to speak about your thoughts, feelings, needs and desires to your partner. Open and honest conversations have the power to strengthen emotional bonds and relationships. So, if your partner communicates everything to you, then it is indeed a green flag. After communication comes to support. A romantic partner is someone who supports you in all your endeavours. You can be your simplest version with them without any masks. If they support you in your smallest ideas and dreams, then they are the ones.
Don’t…let the last two years deter you from finding love. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it’s to cherish life. Reflect and really think about what is important to you. If you’re single and want to look for love, make it a priority and don’t be afraid. Do…be your full, authentic self. Being true to yourself and confident in who you are is one of the most attractive qualities. And people are super attracted to confidence.
Do you have an ex who has been hanging around for years or a f*ckboy that’s been messing with your head? What about those people you text when you’re feeling lonely or bored or who you think you might be interested in someday? I call these people the “maybes:” the exes, previous dates, and “it’s complicated” relationships that didn’t work out the first time around, but you keep their number in your phone “just in case” or are hoping something will change.
If you’re too intimidated to approach the kind of woman you think you deserve, while still rejecting all the ones that show interest in you, you’re going to remain single for a long time. Serial dating happens when a guy hasn’t settled down to really understand what he wants in a woman. These types of guys approach almost every girl they see. They use external beauty alone as their metric for evaluating girls. They don’t have standards or virtues they want in a woman. Their focus is simply hoping to get laid. The problem with this approach to dating is that it often ends up frustrating and confusing you. It’s immature, and it’s an unrealistic way of finding a partner. You’ll most likely end up getting more rejections than you can handle.
Keeping the romance in a relationship is hard work. Most people just go with the flow and gradually let a natural decay slowly kill the relationship. This is why it takes a deliberate effort to make a relationship work. And when a man knows what to do to keep the romance alive, it blows a woman’s mind away. Men who understand this know the value of space. They know that it’s not just about giving the woman their attention all the time. They understand that as much as attention is good, it’s also good to go away, and let the mind want what it already has. This is perhaps why Esther Perel, a relationship therapist put it that desire needs space. Those who don’t understand this simple concept end up with a passion that only lasts as long as their hormones can remain fired up.
Consider a low-key coffee, tea, a walk, or a drink instead of dinner: Instead of meeting for dinner on the first date, choose an activity that is potentially shorter, and more relaxed like a walk or a coffee. That way, if you realize after 45 minutes that you just aren’t compatible, you’re not committed to a longer (and potentially expensive!) dinner that may be unpleasant and awkward for both parties. If the date goes well, you can continue to cocktail or segue to dinner and continue the conversation. While it’s easy to add a snack or a bite, it’s more difficult to extricate yourself from dinner.
Repeat after me: Dating should be fun. It should not feel forced, boring, painful, or sad. If it’s not enjoyable, you’re either putting too much pressure on each date, feeling self-conscious about dating, or focusing on the wrong things. Remember that dating is not intended to have only one outcome. Every experience—whether it’s a date, Tinder conversation, or a few months of dating—brings you closer to clarity.
Work through your baggage. Everyone has a few scrapes and scars from previous experiences that can creep into their love lives. For instance, maybe your parents failed to show you consistent affection, and now you find yourself being extra needy in relationships. Or maybe your ex cheated on you, leaving you with some serious trust issues. Regardless of what baggage you’re carrying around, it’s time to dig deep and work through it. Otherwise, it may prove next to impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone new. Bottom line? Clear your mind of “the one who got away” and you’ll have a much easier time recognizing someone great when you see them. Whether that means meditating, working with a therapist or dating coach, practicing self-care, or keeping yourself busy with healthy distractions, the point is that you’ll be far more likely to actually achieve your romantic goals IRL, rather than just in your head.
My motto is: you get what you put up with. So, are you willing to accept someone who walks all over you, disrespects your boundaries, or takes from you without giving in return? Expect more. Better yet, work on believing that you deserve more, and that way, you can hold any future partners accountable. Start by making a list of all the skills and positive qualities you can bring to the table in a relationship. Are you a compassionate listener? Generous with your time? Have a great sense of humor? If you need to, ask friends for their take on what your biggest strengths are. Once you’ve drafted your list, read it every single day. Eventually, it’ll start sinking in that you have a lot to offer in a relationship, and therefore, should only be with someone who not only appreciates all of those qualities but also has a lot to offer in return.